Oscar Pistorius, the first man ever to compete in both the Paralympics and the Olympics, recently spoke about the death of his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp–whose murder he’s on trial for–for the first time since it happened.

Turning to Twitter to share his thoughts, Pistorius says he feels the loss of Steenkamp every day.

“No words can adequately capture my feelings about the devastating accident that has caused such heartache for everyone who truly loved – and continues to love Reeva. The pain and sadness – especially for Reeva’s parents, family and friends consumes me with sorrow. The loss of Reeva and the complete trauma of that day, I will carry with me for the rest of my life,” he wrote.

Pistorius–who is also known as “Blade Runner” because of the high-tech prosthetics he wears–shot and killed Steenkamp last Valentine’s Day. It was the early hours of the morning, he said, and he thought she was an intruder when he woke up and heard someone in the bathroom. He shot through the door four times, killing her. Prosecutors say there’s more to the story, however, and question why Pistorius didn’t realize that Steenkamp wasn’t in bed when he woke up. The Olympian says it was very dark in the bedroom and had been fearful in the past of break-ins due to his high profile and the crime rate in South Africa, which is why he had begun to collect weapons.

Pistorius’ trial begins in March, and prosecutors are hoping to secure information from his iPhone records as part of their investigation. The Steenkamp family released a statement, saying all they want is closure.

“June (Reeva’s mother) and other family members will be at the trial in Pretoria. All we are looking for is closure and to know that our daughter did not suffer on that tragic Valentine’s Day,” read the statement.

Image via Wikimedia Commons