Open Marriage, SOPA, and Obama Singing Al Green

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Open Marriage, SOPA, and Obama Singing Al Green
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Enjoy!

    After successfully slowing down #SOPA, Twitter has turned its attention to more important topics, like #ReplaceBandNamesWithPenguin. 17 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Obama clinches 2012 reelection by singing seven seconds of an Al Green song. http://t.co/HWfpjf20 4 hours ago via Tweet Button · powered by @socialditto

    You just know that in the general, when Obama sings Al Green, Romney will come back strong with some Pat Boone… 4 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® · powered by @socialditto

    If you’re wondering how Mad Men ends, it’s with Don Draper at a GOP debate in the present denying he ever asked Betty for an open marriage. 2 hours ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto

    Why do I have this creepy feeling that SOPA is going to suddenly lurch up and try to choke us one last time? 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Penguins #ReplaceBandNamesWithPenguin 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    I wish I had the confidence to be seen in white pants… I barely have the confidence to be seen in white skin. 19 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    I started drinking after I ate, so now I have to drink more to get drunk. #FirstWorldProblems 2 hours ago via iTweet for Android · powered by @socialditto

    Fun game! Figure out your landlord name. Take your first and last names and then add “Stupid Idiot” on the front. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Pizza is like sex. When it’s good, it’s great. When it’s bad, I beat up a chef. 4 hours ago via Tweetbot for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    I need to hear Mitt Romney sing the first line of “Use Me” by Bill Withers before I decide if he’s a worthy nominee. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    When is it going to be my turn to be George Clooney’s girlfriend? 4 hours ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto

    Women, if you want to be taken seriously you really need to stop fucking Newt Gingrich. 13 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Just saw clip of Pres Obama singing Al Green. Randy thought it was pitchy, jLo and Steven loved it. He’s going to Hollywood! 15 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

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