Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we go heavy on last night’s Republican Primary debate, talk Ben & Jerry’s new ice cream flavor, and learn the rest of the “Where’s Waldo” title. Enjoy!
@BettyFckinWhite
Betty F*ckin’ WhiteBen & Jerry’s has come out with “Schweddy Balls” ice cream flavor. And yes it tastes exactly like Alec Baldwin.
6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@BrianLynch
Brian LynchReese Witherspoon hit by a car. I’m predicting after getting over her initial argument with the handsome driver, they will fall in love. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@sethmeyers21
Seth MeyersNo matter your politics, I think we can all agree that Mormons tan well. 19 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@robdelaney
rob delaneyScotland is a fantastic country but I bet Scottland would be terribly boring. 3 hours ago via Twitter for Android · powered by @socialditto
@badbanana
Tim SiedellI don’t know about the Mayan calendar, but the State Farm calendar my agent just gave me goes through 2013. It’s going to be okay. 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@someecards
someecardsI’m looking forward to knowing everything about your new baby via Facebook. http://t.co/jjZUFdR 5 hours ago via Tweet Button · powered by @socialditto
@FakeAPStylebook
Fake AP StylebookTroy Polamalu’s last name is pronounced “Pall-Mall-for-smooth-flavor.” 2 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto
@BorowitzReport
Andy BorowitzHowever you feel about healthcare, last night’s debate was a persuasive argument for medication. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@ApocalypseHow
Rob KutnerThe book is not as much fun when you learn the full title is “Where’s Waldo, Brother of Anne Frank?” 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@donni
Donni SaphireLadies, call me “Adjustable Rate Mortgage.” I look great at first, suddenly get real fat, and then I ruin your life. 48 minutes ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@kevin_nealon
Kevin NealonGreat GOP debate last night. Which one was Michelle Bachmann? 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@PeytonsHead
Peyton’s Head“GO PACK GO” is what Green Bay fans yell. Not to be confused with “Go pack”, which is what Jack Del Rio yells at his starting QB’s. 6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto