Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today, Twitter is talking about the World series (and drunk Red Sox players). We also see what the connection is between Anderson Cooper and Newt Gingrich.
Newt Gingrich looks like what Anderson Cooper would look like if you found him two weeks after he drowned.
“I just stung that guy, and now his friend has to pee on him.” -Jellyfish, Nature’s Assholes
I installed Android 4.0 Ice Cream Sandwich with Facial Recognition. Now anyone with a picture of Dave can read his emails.
I assume a pretend apple a day keeps the honorary doctorate types away.
Rex Grossman, Donovan McNabb and Kyle Orton enter a bar. The bartenders says “What would you like to start with?” Orton answers “Our teams.”
At the mall. Everyone in the ‘Forever 21’ is over 34.
There’s a lot more cougars in Los Angeles than Ohio but that doesn’t seem to make the news.
I need to exercise. Just inadvertently did the Truffle Shuffle while vigorously washing my hands.
If you have a taxidermy marlin and you’ve never tried to joust someone with it, you’re wasting everyone’s time.
When a cop pulls you over and asks, “Papers?” answer “Scissors.” then drive away..
Michelle Obama attending World Series game tonight in St Louis. Secret Service says stadium isn’t ready yet. Already, they’re blaming Busch.
World Series Drinking Game: Have a beer if you think the guy who makes an error, throws or swings at a bad pitch, might have just had one.