Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today, Twitter is talking about the World series (and drunk Red Sox players). We also see what the connection is between Anderson Cooper and Newt Gingrich.
Enjoy!
@someecards
someecardsLet’s drink while watching World Series games like we’re Red Sox players watching Red Sox games. http://t.co/Sk4fD2Pp
4 hours ago via Tweet Button · powered by @socialditto
@bazecraze
Alex BazeNewt Gingrich looks like what Anderson Cooper would look like if you found him two weeks after he drowned. 19 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@TheThryll
Will“I just stung that guy, and now his friend has to pee on him.” -Jellyfish, Nature’s Assholes 3 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@HAL9000_
HAL 9000I installed Android 4.0 Ice Cream Sandwich with Facial Recognition. Now anyone with a picture of Dave can read his emails. 8 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@badbanana
Tim SiedellI assume a pretend apple a day keeps the honorary doctorate types away. 17 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@PeytonsHead
Peyton’s HeadRex Grossman, Donovan McNabb and Kyle Orton enter a bar. The bartenders says “What would you like to start with?” Orton answers “Our teams.” 6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@rainnwilson
RainnWilsonAt the mall. Everyone in the ‘Forever 21’ is over 34. 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@DavidKlein5
David KleinThere’s a lot more cougars in Los Angeles than Ohio but that doesn’t seem to make the news. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@theNuzzy
david nuzzy nussbaumI need to exercise. Just inadvertently did the Truffle Shuffle while vigorously washing my hands. 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@FirstWorldLife
First World LifeI like to rap along with songs but don’t feel comfortable saying “nigga” #FirstWorldProblems 52 minutes ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto
@kellyoxford
kelly oxfordIf you have a taxidermy marlin and you’ve never tried to joust someone with it, you’re wasting everyone’s time. 36 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@Wussawilla
tangyWhen a cop pulls you over and asks, “Papers?” answer “Scissors.” then drive away.. 8 hours ago via Twitter for Android · powered by @socialditto
@GoodSportz
Good SportzMichelle Obama attending World Series game tonight in St Louis. Secret Service says stadium isn’t ready yet. Already, they’re blaming Busch. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@TSNDaveHodge
Dave Hodge – TSNWorld Series Drinking Game: Have a beer if you think the guy who makes an error, throws or swings at a bad pitch, might have just had one. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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