Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today, Twitter is aflutter with the news that the Duggar family will be welcoming their 20th child. We also see why we really don’t need the NBA and learn what Clint Eastwood’s skin might be made out of.
Enjoy!
@Aimee_B_Loved
Aimee BMichelle Duggar is pregnant again? Forget Mexico. We should build a fence between her vag and the real world.
4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@FillWerrell
Will Ferrell ParodyThe largest gathering of virgins is happening at a Game Stop near you! #MW3 14 hours ago via Mobile Web · powered by @socialditto
@rainnwilson
RainnWilsonYour body is a McDonaldland. – Overweight John Mayer 3 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto
@scullymike
Mike ScullyCyber-bullying is so fucking lazy. Get off your ass, find a nice kid who’s minding his own business, and shove his face in the toilet! 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@DearAnyone
Artie JohannEveryone’s worst day can usually be traced back to a stubbed toe. 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@TheThryll
WillLove that part of Sublime’s “What I Got” when he claims to “play the guitar like a motherfuckin’ riot” and then proceeds to not do that. 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@BorowitzReport
Andy BorowitzWomen Harassed by Herman Cain: “We Are the 99%” 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@PeytonsHead
Peyton’s HeadThe Duggars announced they are having their 20th child. Even Antonio Cromartie is saying “that’s enough”. 6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@FirstWorldLife
First World LifeMy cat’s tail is blocking my TV remote signal #FirstWorldProblems 1 hour ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto
@DRUNKHULK
DRUNK HULKMORE DRUNK HULK HEAR CHRISTMAS MUSIC THIS EARLY! MORE DRUNK DRUNK HULK WISH THAT ASTEROID COME CLOSER! 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@Hadzilla
Jeffrey Raymond“Thanks bro.” – Herman Cain to Joe Paterno 47 minutes ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
@robfee
Rob FeeClint Eastwood’s skin looks like it made out of wet kitten dicks. 29 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@mikeacker
mikeackerWho needs the NBA when there’s non-conference NCAA basketball. Well done UK. 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@brandorogers
bStatistically speaking, 7% of ‘your mom’ jokes now refer to Michelle Duggar. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto