Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
There’s a loud kid in an Angry Birds hat in the airport. Where’s a shoddily constructed building full of pigs when you need it?
Happy Birthday Michael Jordan! On behalf of Earth and the Looney Toons, thank you for saving us.
Happy Birthday Michael Jordan! In related news, his Hitler mustache turns two.
Happy Birthday Michael Jordan, exceptional skills and a shiny black head are two things we have in common.
Now that Pat Buchanan is off MSNBC, who will speak for the xenophobic racists?
Is it strange that, as a consequence of his crime, the Underwear Bomber will get free state-provided undergarments for life?
If it’s any consolation, the Underwear Bomber’s actions almost certainly did cause the drop of multiple underwear bombs.
Receipts are short stories about how stupid and awesome last night was.
Chris Christie won’t veto the marriage equality bill if we convince him gay marriage is the union between melted cheese and marinara sauce.
If I see someone at airport holding a guitar & I don’t recognize them, I assume they play in a jazz fusion band.
God is like electricity. You can’t see how it works, but you know it has nothing to do with science and you’re probably going to hell.
WEIRD BUT TRUE: Quinoa is actually made from ground-up NPR tote bags.
Bet those Valentine’s Day office flowers are beginning to wilt. It’s like watching someone slowly tear up $75 over the course of a week.