Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
I don’t know, king cake. I prefer not to put myself in situations where surprise babies may emerge at any time.
‘Girl, you look as good as a King Cake. Let me put a baby in you.’ Top pickup line of the season/century.
Not to sound all high & mighty, but I just smoked a bowl and bench pressed 200 lbs
Mardi Gras, St. Patrick’s Day & Cinco De Mayo are the 3 most important religious holidays for belligerent drunks everyone hated in college.
Nicki Minaj gave up rapping for Lent, even before it was Lent. She’s truly devout.
It’s almost Lent which reminds me of when God said, “A few times a year, to prove you love me, do some weird stuff.”
GQ should ask Brady Quinn about something he’s qualified to answer, like his thoughts on David Beckham’s performance as an underwear model
The fact that Brady Quinn dumped on Tebow is not news. The news is that for some reason someone interviewed Brady Quinn.
I’m hoping to give up celibacy for lent.
Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. Awwww yeah.
I’m rooting for the divorced girl to win “The Bachelor.” It would be more improbable than Gonzaga winning March Madness.
Anyone who can stand Chris Brown has obviously never had the shit beat out of them or they are Rihanna.
Eating McDonalds is like bungee jumping: you know theres a chance you may die, but you take a leap of faith and hope you dont shit yourself
How did anyone convince us that Nature Valley granola bars are food?
Just re-read the Book of Revelation, and there are at least sixteen different references to sweater vests.
If there’s life on other planets, they probably had the technology to create Doritos Locos Tacos hundreds of years ago.