Since her boyfriend Cory Monteith passed away in July of 2013, actress and singer Lea Michele has been healing pretty much in front of our eyes, and she’s openly discussed exactly what Monteith meant to her and how difficult it’s been for her to move on.

One of the ways Michelle has been trying to push forward is through her music, as she’s been heavily promoting the release of her album Louder, which features the tribute song to Monteith “If You Say So.”

But the first step towards healing through music for Michelle is when she first heard the song “Cannonball,” the album’s first single. After hearing it for the first time she knew it was the perfect song to get her back on track, which is why she made it the first song on the album.

“I just literally keeled over,” said Michele. “Grief is a very scary thing, and there comes a point where it can really take you down…..When I heard “Cannonball” it lifted me up. It was what I needed to get through my difficult situation.”

In addition, the Bronx born Michelle said it was difficult for her to speak about Monteith publicly after he passed because it was so personal, but at the same time she knew their fans wanted to know how she was doing.

“A lot of people don’t know how to touch this situation,” said Michelle. “It’s like walking on eggshells. It puts it all out there. It’s really hard, we’re not denying that it’s hard, and we’re not gonna get through it….I really hope it helps people the way it helps me.”

And Michelle said she’s learned to take advantage of everything life has to offer, and although she’s heard this advice countless times before, she’s just now starting to follow suit.

“If I’ve learned anything from this past year it’s that you have one life,” said the Glee actress. ” I didn’t really understand what that meant until recently. You have to live your life to the fullest and you have to love as hard as you can love.”

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