Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to kick off Halloween than with a spooktacular filled “Today’s Funniest Tweets”.
Today, Halloween is on everyone’s mind. Not only that, but we get numerous tweets from today’s biggest news, the upcoming divorce of Kim Kardashian and Humphries.
Herman Cains the GOP presidential leader, the McRib is back, and now Kim Kardashians single? Its a good week to be black
Tonight I’m wearing a Tim Tebow jersey so I can throw candy 15 feet above kids heads. Oh, the hilarity.
#ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage Ashanti sideburns…
RIP James and Lily Potter is trending. Well, this is awkward…
Kim Kardashian earned $18 million from her wedding. I hope she’ll be ok
Romo to begin receiving pain injections for injuries sustained from being hit with the knowledge that John Beck outperformed him this week.
Nothing makes the idiocy of humans shine quite like a traffic light without power.
Scariest Halloween Costume: Guy with face paint over his mustache & beard.
How the fuck was Screech friends with the most popular kid, the captain of the football team, and the hottest chicks in school?
Tonight I’m dressing as the Mailer Daemon.
If you don’t murder someone today with a hatchet, knife, or other sharpe item you are celebrating Halloween wrong.
I would rather touch a dog’s anus than reach inside a woman’s purse.