For the first time, Jesus has made his video game world debut to combat the satanic influence of Diablo 3. And judging by the quality of “Journey of Jesus” verses Diablo, Satan is much more popular.

This is not to say that both Jesus and Diablo don’t have their place. Personally I’m rooting for both of them. It just seems to me that if Christian leaders think that making an even crappier version of Castleville (I didn’t think that was possible) is going to draw gamers away from a release like Diablo 3, they have another thing coming.

After sampling the game, I have to say that it will not help anyone become more interested in the story of Jesus. Adding pointless tasks like chopping wood and tending flowers, does not make His story more compelling. The character art of Jesus and friends also comes off as creepy rather than comforting and inspirational.

Those eyes are a little too sparkly.

Unfortunately, you can’t see it here, but all of the characters stare eerily to you when you play the game. Even worse is your avatar, who never takes his gaze off you as he chops wood, waters flowers, and generally tidies-up around Israel.

This game is a direct rip off of Zynga games, and even asks you to pay real money for collectables and to advance through the game. Hmm, you have to pay to advance and learn the tenets of Christ. This sounds more like a cult than Christianity.

Along your journey you’re given prompts that refer to the Bible, but you are so annoyed with chopping wood and paying for energy that they are meaningless:

“Life is hard in Israel, but people are talking about John the Baptist. Is John the long-awaited Messiah who will save Israel, or is he ‘a voice calling in the wilderness…’?”

“You heard a voice from heaven declaring, “This is My Son!” What could this mean?”

Along the way you meet a gaggle of ne’re-do-wells who are seeking redemption: “I’ve been looking for love with a lot of men, and I still feel empty… I just want to get free of my past…”

“Looks like you need to get right with Jesus; and by that, I mean give us $60 for 760 pieces of fake gold.”

Jesus’ Corporate Sponsorships. Oh really now.

All in all, I think that if you want to learn about Jesus’ teachings you should probably go to church and read the Bible. Then you can practice them by treating people fairly and volunteering in your community. Leave the video games to Satan.

Why is Beelzebub made of Gold?