iPhone Update, Joel Osteen, and the French Revolution

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
iPhone Update, Joel Osteen, and the French Revolution
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Today, people are still talking about the iOS update and the Blackberry outage. We also see what qualifies as a workout to Jim Gaffigan.

    Enjoy!

    Please don’t ‘celebrate my life’ when I die. You want to get drunk, do it on your own time. 35 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Joel Osteen says homosexuality is wrong, but taking money from strangers every Sunday is the shit! 37 minutes ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

    Never trust a person that enjoys karaoke sober. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Say what you will about Herman Cain, he’s one of the only Republican candidates who can count all the way to 9. 6 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    EVERYONE TALK ABOUT HOW AWFUL BLACKBERRY ARE! HOW GREAT APPLE ARE! YET NO ONE QUESTION THEY STRANGE FRUIT ADDICTION! 6 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

    French people towards the end of the 18th century were fucking revolting. 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    I haven’t used the iCloud yet, but I absolutely love it. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    If only opening a Vitamin Water could be classified as working out. 3 hours ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto

    “Not 2 Shabby!” -Friend of missing rapper 2 Shabby, making a negative ID at the morgue 1 hour ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

    pǝxıɟ ʎɐʍɟןɐɥ ʎןuo sı ɯqq ssǝnb ı 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Signing my emails “- Sent from my iPhone 6” just to make people super jealous. 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    Dear Porn: The quality of a scene is not directly proportional to the amount of things you can fit inside of other things. 56 minutes ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

    My iPhone is currently updating so I have to tweet from my computer like some Ethiopian kid. 14 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    I love vending machines because I can see exactly where my food is coming from. 7 hours ago via Power Twitter · powered by @socialditto

    [Image Courtesy Facebook]

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