Grey’s Anatomy is one of the most successful, longest-running shows on television right now, and former star Katherine Heigl says she’s still a fan. The actress said recently that she can’t believe Patrick Dempsey’s character is really gone.

“I just can’t imagine the show without McDreamy. It’s just so hard to picture,” Heigl told Entertainment Tonight.

Although Heigl’s somewhat dramatic departure from the show is well-known to fans–she and showrunner Shonda Rhimes reportedly had something of a feud between them and Rhimes later said Heigl was difficult to work with–there’s a rumor going around that Katherine will make a return to the show soon. However, she told ET that there’s no truth to the stories and wished the current cast all the best.

“It changed the course of my life and my career, and I couldn’t be more grateful. I just hope it goes for as long as they all want it to,” Heigl said.

The actress has publicly stated that she hates that things were left so negative with Shonda Rhimes and has voiced a desire to work with her again despite the comments she made about her.

“The last one with Shonda… it sucks. I am sorry that she feels that way and I wish her nothing but greatness, and I have nothing negative to say about Shonda. I’m a big fan of her work. I watch ‘Scandal’ every week, and so I’m sorry she’s left with such a crappy impression of me. I wish I could do something to change that. Maybe I will be able to someday,” Katherine Heigl said.

Rhimes told shocked fans earlier this year that the decision to kill off Derek Shepherd was a difficult one to make, but explained that Dempsey is moving on to pursue other things.

“Derek Shepherd is and will always be an incredibly important character — for Meredith, for me and for the fans. I absolutely never imagined saying goodbye to our ‘McDreamy’. Patrick Dempsey’s performance shaped Derek in a way that I know we both hope became a meaningful example — happy, sad, romantic, painful and always true — of what young women should demand from modern love. His loss will be felt by all,” Rhimes said.