Gov. Perry Feels The Facebook Backlash For His Uterus Obsession

Take note, male politicians who can’t help but impede reproductive health care for women: if you make highly controversial decisions by trying to police the ladies’ lady parts, then you might as well go ahead and just start posting targets on your public Facebook page. You may have the support of your local constituents who elected you to office, but that support isn’t likely to be duplicated across the entirety of the online constituency. Just ask Sam Brownback and Rick Perry.

Kansas Governor Sam Brownback, he who need not read bills before signing them, experienced the wrath of “sarcasm bombing” last week when people took to his Facebook page to sardonically seek the advice of Brownback regarding medical questions about women’s reproductive health. The public outrage was sparked by Brownback’s commitment to blindly signing a bill that would implement an array of invasive medical practices to women seeking abortion.

Now Texas Governor Rick Perry, one-time presidential hopeful and another noted non-owner of a uterus, is the next politician to feel the social media backlash for his insistence on cutting federal funds to women’s health programs in Texas because some of those clinics are run by Planned Parenthood. Similar to what happened on Brownback’s page, his Facebook page filled with “sarcasm bombings” consisting of women posting mordant queries to the governor about issues related to women’s health.

For instance, a recent post (and by recent I mean his most recent post, which is dated January 19) that includes a photo of Perry with the text, “Anita [his wife] and I thank you for your support,” commenters shared their gratitude:

“Man, all my eggs are dead. I had a hysterectomy due to uterine cancer. Does this make me and my oncologist serial killers?”

“Mr. Perry, I am writing because I have been feeling incredibly guilty recently for having a uterus. Your solution seems to be handing it over to stronger and wiser men. Is there a clinic where I can get a hysterectomy and just mail you my uterus directly? Thanks in advance!”

“Dear Rick, I am a Canadian. I don’t know you, but I heard you’re the man when it comes to yeast infection advice?? I am suffering from blue waffle syndrome. Please help. Thanks! xx”

“Dear Dr. Rick. Traditionally, it is a husband’s job to control his wife’s reproductive system, and your new approach is making me feel inadequate since the government has taken over that area. Where else can I assert dominance on her and thus restore my self-esteem?”

In another post with the message, “Can we get 15,000 LIKES to defeating Barack Obama?!” commenters expressed their like as such:

“Governor Perry, I just need to ask one more question. Do you think it’s true that 100% of all pregnancies in the state of Arizona were caused by men? And if so, do you have a proposal to deal with them? thank you so much for your time and expertise.”

“Can tampons chafe vaginas? I’m scared to use them. Also, how much menstrual blood can a Diva Cup hold? My flow can get pretty heavy. Thanks Rick!”

“Rick, is there a godly way to eliminate my between menstruation spotting that stains my underwear and produces cervical contractions that leave me gasping for breath? I could really use some advise on this one.”

I seem to be irregular and my cramping is pretty bad- so bad that I can’t sleep at night or get anything done. Imagine being repeatedly kicked in the crotch for hours, but move the pain up to the whole lower abdomen, because that’s the only way I can describe it to someone who doesn’t have a uterus that can cramp so badly that it restricts blood flow to surrounding tissues. I thought you would be concerned.

Seriously, these politicians on Facebook need to hire some handlers who will warn them that, yes, other people will be able to post to their page and, yes, some people may express their protest by taking over your comment section.