In oh, no shit news, commonly out-of-touch organization the Motion Picture Association of America and the National Association of Theatre Owners have updated their little rulebook, inserting language that specifically bans wearable tech like Google Glass.

Since the MPAA and NATO have always banned possible recording devices (like cellphones) inside theaters, this can come as a shock to no one.

Here’s the updated guideline:

The National Association of Theatre Owners (NATO) and the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) have a long history of welcoming technological advances and recognize the strong consumer interest in smart phones and wearable “intelligent” devices. As part of our continued efforts to ensure movies are not recorded in theaters, however, we maintain a zero-tolerance policy toward using any recording device while movies are being shown. As has been our long-standing policy, all phones must be silenced and other recording devices, including wearable devices, must be turned off and put away at show time. Individuals who fail or refuse to put the recording devices away may be asked to leave. If theater managers have indications that illegal recording activity is taking place, they will alert law enforcement authorities when appropriate, who will determine what further action should be taken.

We’ll just ignore the the absurdity of that first sentence and move on to the next. Apparently, there’s an epidemic of people recording movies with Google Glass. Also, this includes all “wearable tech” … so … the Apple Watch? Would wearing a smartwatch get you kicked out of Gone Girl?

What about a FitBit?

Of course, the MPAA shouldn’t even have to say this. Taking off Google Glass during a movie shouldn’t be a regulation – that’s just something a normal human being should do.

On the one hand, the MPAA’s policy is unlikely to be properly enforced, reactionary, and ultimately unnecessary. And on the other hand, well, on the other hand rests the world’s smallest violin playing the world’s saddest song for anyone who complains about being “harassed” for wearing a camera on their face in a movie theater.

There are no winners here. Everybody is terrible.

Image via The Daily Show video, screenshot