Ferris Bueller, Liam Neeson, and Wingdings

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Ferris Bueller, Liam Neeson, and Wingdings
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Enjoy!

    For those who missed the Republican debate, there’s a great piece about it in the Book of Revelation. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Ferris Bueller and Madonna at the Superbowl? Did NBC get that Delorean up to 85? 56 minutes ago via Twitter for iPad · powered by @socialditto

    It’s almost noon. Does anyone have an update if Liam Neeson has punched a wolf right in the forehead yet? 3 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

    Up until about a week ago I thought The Grey was a Civil War movie. I wish they’d just called it “Liam Neeson punches all the wolves”. 25 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Happy National Chocolate Cake Day? The other types of cake are feeling left out. I’ve just seen an emotional wedding cake. It was in tiers. 54 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    ESPN execs somewhere: “Quick, how do we tie Tim Tebow to this Peyton Manning storyline?” 1 hour ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

    “God, when will they stop talking about all of this Peyton Manning stuff?” — Brett Favre 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    BET GINGRICH’S CURRENT MISTRESS WONDER WHEN SHE GET PROMOTE TO WIFE! 26 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    None of my ex-girlfriends have gotten fat yet. #firstworldproblems 31 minutes ago via twitterfeed · powered by @socialditto

    The sound my computer makes when it’s logging off on a Friday is better than anything they play in the radio. 58 minutes ago via twicca · powered by @socialditto

    Gary Busey speaks in Wingdings font. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    This real estate agent is one handsome guy. No homeowner. 26 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    The cutest things are pug puppies, mixed-race babies, and hipsters working out at the gym. 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    “Let’s get this show on the road!” –suicidal thespian deer 3 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® · powered by @socialditto

    The sentence “I never said he licked my asshole” has 7 different meanings depending on the stressed word. 2 hours ago via Tweetbot for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    Every time you scoop Ben & Jerry’s out of the container and into a bowl, God has a little chuckle. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

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