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f8, Hurricane Hilary, and Levi’s Commercials

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
f8, Hurricane Hilary, and Levi’s Commercials
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    For previous daily tweets articles go here

    Today the Twitterverse was buzzing about the f8 conference and Mark Zuckerberg’s announced changes to Facebook. We also learn an interesting stat about the satellite heading towards Earth and see how a call about “family matters” can be interpreted in multiple ways.

    Enjoy!

    New Facebook Timeline: This sounds oddly like writing my own obituary as an infographic… #timeline #f8 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    My mom texted me “we need to discuss some family matters.”
    She either saw the episode where Urkel turned into Stefan or she found my weed. 1 hour ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

    There’s another episode of the GOP debate? Haven’t they canceled that show yet? 3 hours ago via Twitter for Android · powered by @socialditto

    I’d like to thank guys flexing in their Facebook pictures for making this comedy thing very easy for me. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Every single day, every word you say, every game you play, every night you stay: I’ll be watching you… #f8 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    If I hear an adult call their dad “daddy” I assume he or she had lots of sex with him growing up. 2 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

    If you’re wondering, there’s just a 1 in 21 trillion chance any satellite debris will hit that Flo lady from the Progressive commercials. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Hurricane Hillary? This will be the first time she’s blown anything in 30 years. 4 hours ago via TweetCaster for iOS · powered by @socialditto

    America would be so much better if our leaders were half as inspiring as our Levi’s commercials. 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    #f8 is getting really emotional. 2 hours ago via Twitter for Mac · powered by @socialditto

    The gap in volume levels between action scenes and dialogue in my movie is too wide. #FirstWorldProblems 17 hours ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto

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