It has been nine years since actor, Ethan Hawke, divorced his ex-wife, actress, Uma Thurman, however he continues to talk about his past relationship and his idealistic views on “monogamy”.
Hawke and Thurman met on the set of their 1997 film, Gattaca, and fell in love shortly thereafter. The couple married in 1998 and had two children together before divorcing six years later in 2004.
“Gattaca was a great moment in my life and a great moment in Uma Thurman’s life, and we fell madly in love and wanted to do all that,” Hawke said. “We tried to be as optimistic as we could be: we all want to believe in love and the possibility of love. The older you get, the more you realize how powerful love is. You understand the right ways for emotion to lead your life and the dangerous ways. I don’t regret marrying early.”
Hawke later admitted that he had no business taking vows at such a young age, however he says they fell madly in love and he thought marriage would help his life settle down. “Success when you’re young is really overwhelming,” he said. ”I had no business taking vows that would last more than two weeks. The world felt out of control and I wanted to stop it from spinning so fast.”
Despite his views on marriage, Hawke went on to marry his children’s nanny, Ryan Shawhughes, in 2008. They have since had two children together as well.
“My relationship with my present wife is thrilling to me and I’m committed to it,” he said. “But neither she nor I know what shape the future will come in. Sexual fidelity can’t be the whole thing you hang your relationship on. If you really love somebody you want them to grow, but you don’t get to define how that happens. They do.”
Although Hawke claims he has never cheated on Shawhughes, he describes his beliefs of monogamy and how humans are sexual beings.
“I am [monogamous], but in Before Midnight there is the threat of sexual attraction to others and maintaining your sexual identity with your partner over a long period of time. Human beings are sexual beings,” Hawke said. “People have such a childish view of monogamy and fidelity. ‘He’s cheated so he’s bad, she’s cheated so she’s bad’, as opposed to a recognition that our species is not monogamous. To act all indignant, that your world has been rocked because your lover wasn’t faithful to you, is a little bit like acting rocked that your hair went grey.”
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