People call 911 for a lot of stupid reasons, and god bless our emergency operators for having to deal with some of the stuff they deal with. This example of 911 abuse might be the most idiotic one I’ve seen in quite some time.

In Illinois, Michael Alan Skopec, 48, was arrested after placing five calls to 911 complaining that his iPhone wasn’t working. Officers were dispatched to Skopec’s house after he repeatedly used the emergency service to report his broken Apple device. Once they were there, they arrested him for “refusing to comply with orders from deputies,” according to The Smoking Gun.

In a shocking development, the Sheriff’s Office says that alcohol was involved.

Because Mr. Skopec decided to get hammered drunk and try to work his iPhone, we the public are given the gift of the 911 tapes. And boy, are they great. Not only are they great because Skopec is such an idiot, but it shows just how patient 911 operators can be in the face of someone who is obviously wasting their time. Amazing. (NSFW)

Favorite exchange:

All-too-patient-operator: Do you have an emergency?

Drunk idiot: My emergency is my f*cking phone don’t work.

All-too-patient-operator: OK, what’s your address?

Drunk idiot: 1-0-blahbluh-blah-blo-blah blah blah-blah, ok you understand that?

All-too-patient-operator: No sir, I did not understand that.

There are so many questions that we will never know – mainly what phone was he calling 911 from? Maybe some of his apps weren’t working, and that was the problem. Oh well, thanks Mr. Skopec for making my day.

BONUS: How could I even talk about 911 calls without giving you the cop who thinks he OD’ed on pot? This version is animated, for your pleasure:

[Lead Image courtesy of Gawker]