Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we have tweets about the Roast of Charlie Sheen as well as the premiere of the new Two and a Half Men. We also find why it’s hard to look masculine at a Starbucks, no matter what you do. Enjoy!
@alexblagg
Alex BlaggApprox 6,747,435,699 other people on Earth joined me in not giving a shit about last night’s “Two and a Half Men” premiere.
21 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@andylevy
Andy LevyThreats are a violation of Twitter’s rules. RT: @justinbieber: oh yeah…and i think LESS THAN A MONTH…Im gonna give you some #newmusic 1 hour ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@SarahKSilverman
Sarah SilvermanWhen ur relatives drive you crazy just close your eyes & pretend it’s dialogue in a woody allen movie 1 hour ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto
@ComedyCentral
Comedy Central“@CharlieSheen‘s the reason a dick with cocaine on it is called a #Sheenis.” @SethMacFarlane #SheenRoast http://t.co/jj9DFiif 15 hours ago via twitter ads · powered by @socialditto
@thesulk
Alec SulkinTo learn more about the housewives, got to bravotv.com. To learn more THAN the housewives, read any book ever. 13 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@PeytonsHead
Peyton’s HeadHow old is Manny? RT @espn At what age does it become lame to bring your glove to the ballpark? 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@SamGrittner
Sam Grittner‘FIERCE METAL JACKET’ #DADT 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@DannyZuker
Danny ZukerIf I’m to believe television, and it’s never lied to me before, the 1960’s were dimly lit and everyone was a dick. 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@jennyandteets
Jenny Mollen50% of marriages end in a man over 40 getting his ear pierced. 11 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@funnyordie
Funny Or Die(The experience of deciding to not use) Google+ is now open to everyone! 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@JennyJohnsonHi5
Jenny JohnsonA guy could fuck a woman on top of the counter at Starbucks and he’d still sound gay ordering a chai tea latte with cinnamon sprinkles. 7 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@alyankovic
Al YankovicI keep getting these creepy late-night phone calls from the CEO of Netflix saying that no one else is ever going to love me like he does. 4 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto