Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
BREAKING: With NFL season kicking off tonight.. the Browns, Rams and Dolphins have been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.
“You know how everyone’s favorite part of the sandwich is the meat well what if we added an extra slice of bread?” Inventor of club sandwich
Where do I vote for Michelle Obama’s arms?
The next person who uses “adorbs” I will most definitely “murds.”
“Here comes Honey Boo Boo,” whispered a meth dealer in 2019.
Kristen Stewart always looks like she farted and woke herself up.
I wish they would bring out Mrs. Clint Eastwood (and a chair) so she could invent an invisible FLOTUS. #lonely
Tonight, at the DNC, Bill Clinton will praise the many great accomplishments of the Secret Service during Obama’s first term.
I hope Obama takes some time during his DNC speech to address the cruelties Amanda Bynes has faced this past year.
No white pants after Labor Day! Or before, if you have any self respect.
The entire sunglass industry will be bankrupt the day Bono dies.
Bras are like politics. They separate the right from the left and make a lot of promises, but they’re really all about attracting money.