Chris Brown, Dave Mustaine, and The Best In Show

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Chris Brown, Dave Mustaine, and The Best In Show
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Enjoy!

    Kim Kardashian wins best in show for her breed, Standard Blackman Retriever 7 hours ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    A Pekingese named Malachy won Best In Show at Westminster. Malachy celebrated the win by having absolutely no idea what just happened. 6 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Kate Upton is a Chris Berman slap and Matthew Berry emasculation away from being the new matron saint of the sports blogosphere. 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Floyd Mayweather thinks Jeremy Lin is overrated, which is funny because Jeremy Lin has managed to be undefeated without ducking anybody. 1 day ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Jeremy Lin is asian people’s The Wire. 25 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    If Jeremy Lin dunked on LeBron James while wearing a Yankees cap and then celebrated by Tebowing in front of Brett Favre would ESPN explode? 1 hour ago via Twitter for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    RIP Chris Brown? Twitter has killed more black people then Hurricane Katrina. 14 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    RIP Chris Brown is trending on twitter. Looks like everyone’s been reading, “The Secret.” #RIPchrisbrown 3 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    RIP Chris Brown? More people have died on twitter than Alderaan. 6 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Condoms are like parents… they are there to protect you, but usually it’s more fun when they’re not around. 15 minutes ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    “Dave Mustaine Endorses Rick Santorum.” Pro-life, meet Megadeth. 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    I bet Rick Santorum is psyched to have the endorsement of a guy who got kicked out of Metallica for snorting too much cocaine 3 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Maybe Dave Mustaine doesn’t know that Santorum also refers to a politician? 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    That empty parking spot turned out to be a Mini Cooper #FirstWorldProblems 23 minutes ago via iTweet for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Kinect would be more fun if you didn’t have to get off the couch. 1 hour ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Honestly, I’ve killed more people playing the Sims than Call of Duty. 2 hours ago via Buffer ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    It’s not so much that I had a great Valentines Day, it’s just knowing that so many people had a terrible one. 3 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

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