Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today we see a heavy dose of tweets regarding the premiere of the Twilight “film” Breaking Dawn as well as Tim Tebow’s crazy 4th quarter comeback Thursday night. We also examine what the NBA players might do during the extended lockout.
The Natalie Wood case evokes a distant, forgotten past when we had scandals that actually involved talented celebrities.
Been getting fewer voicemails since I made my greeting the entire soundtrack from Captain Ron.
Fellas, never let your wife call you a pervert if she’s standing in line to see a movie about a chick trying to hump a wolf AND a dead guy.
I take back all the horrible things I said about hot weather.
If Tim Tebow was Jewish, would he celebrate Runover?
Dear people (women) attending Breaking Dawn at midnight…. THIS is why you’re alone every other night at midnight.
#worstpassword “kimswedding” … too short and not strong enough.
Don’t forget to tell everyone how you love Fridays because we were all wondering how you feel about them.
I’d like to thank Tim Tebow, normally a peaceful and spiritual man, for committing murder and killing the 2011 Jets season.
In blind taste tests, most consumers couldn’t tell if a person was blind by tasting them.
MAYBE SEE BREAKING DAWN! QUESTION! DO DRUNK HULK NEED HATE SELF FIRST! OR DO THAT COME NATURAL WHEN YOU WATCH IT!
It’s a shame Ryan Gosling has never been married, I bet he would love having sex
Whatever will those poor NBA guys do with all their money and long dicks this extended off season?
Kids nowadays listen to terrible music. I miss the good old days when geniuses like Sisqó and Smash Mouth reigned supreme.