Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today, Twitter is pretty outraged at the BlackBerry outage, one user has a suggestion for Herman Cain, and we find out the real risks of jogging.
If Herman Cain could pitch his 9-9-9 plan to the tune of the Subway $5 footlong song, I would be powerless to oppose it.
A woman gave birth shortly after finishing the Chicago Marathon on Sunday. And that’s why I don’t jog.
Good thing I proof read my tweets because I almost said studying for a “meth test” instead of “I’m addicted to cocaine.”
I keep smelling bacon so either there’s bacon around or I’m having a delicious stroke.
“10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash, now we have no jobs, no hope and no cash.” “PLEASE, DON’T LET KEVIN BACON DIE!”
Calling all iPhone users… get that BlackBerry experience by turning your phone to airplane mode ;O)
“Happy Medium” is a description of both Mitt Romney’s appeal and my penis.
“There won’t be humans in 500 years. Enough people choke themselves when they jerk off we gave it a name. We ain’t a species made to last.”
@ProFootballTalk Vick on pace for 4,000 passing yards, 1,000 rushing yardsAnd 3.2 wins. RT
Education: Your third grade teacher lied to you. You never use cursive.
“Food is bad.” –every documentary on Netflix
Dear Blackberry, I think it’s nice that you’re honouring Steve Jobs’ death with a 3 day silence