Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Just realized that, in “Groundhog Day,” Bill Murray also experienced a never-ending Black History Month.
WATCH PEOPLE REACT TO WATCHMEN PREQUEL LOT LIKE WATCH KRISTEN BELL MEET SLOTH!
Tomorrow’s Groundhog Day. Remember: If the groundhog doesn’t see its shadow, winter is over. If it doesn’t see its reflection, its a vampire
The Super Bowl is single-handedly keeping cursory knowledge of Roman numerals alive.
Tom Brady on growing up with 3 older sisters: “They dressed me up a few times in their clothes and painted my nails once, but it was nice.”
Happy Black History Month. I can say that because some of my best friends are history majors.
To mark Black History Month, I propose a month of silence from Newt Gingrich.
Happy Ignorant White People Posting Angry Updates About Black History Month on Facebook Month
Newt Gingrich isn’t pulling out just yet but promises he will before it’s too late.
@MittRomney won the Florida primary. Amazing how much better he runs when he’s left in the charger for the full 8 hours..
Someone please tell my parents that I’ll stop calling them when I’m drunk when they start sending me to Space Camp.
#3WordsThatWomenHate 1.IBoughtAGallonOfYour 2.FavoriteIceCream 3.ButIAteItOnTheRideBackFromTheGroceryStore
In an attempt to salvage lost commitments, Penn State is offering a signing bonus which includes a taser, pepper spray & a rape whistle.
Black History Month should be called “Four Weeks Of Morgan Freeman’s Voiceover Work”
Soul Train creator Don Cornelius has passed away. Lately we’ve lost many talented performers and Corey Haim