@darrenrovell
darren rovellThe US government has reportedly spent more than $75 MILLION to get Barry Bonds a sentence of probation & house arrest. 15 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@michaelianblack
Michael Ian BlackStill bummed that God killed Christopher Hitchens. 🙁 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@LouisPeitzman
Louis PeitzmanFacebook Timeline tells you how many people wrote on your wall for your birthday each year, so you can see how far you’ve come/fallen. 51 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@lowtax
Rich Lowtax Kyankadollar slots are like tim tebow: they dont do anything for three quarters 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@ixSEANxi
Sean GabayWe’re probably calling every dog by its wrong name. 3 hours ago via Tweetbot for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

@thesulk
Alec SulkinLL Cool J’s mother is a real instigator. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@jennyandteets
Jenny MollenI wish instead of reading “it’s complicated” people’s relationship statuses just said ” I’m fucking a guy who won’t call me his girlfriend” 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@EugeneMirman
Eugene MirmanOn an airplane with the door about to close. Not sure if I have enough time to download Words With Friends & get kicked off. 1 hour ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto

@Pat_Healy
Pat HealyDo you think Herman Cain’s back to figuring out a way to construct a crust entirely out of pepperoni? 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@firstworldme
First World ProblemsIt takes more than 2 minutes for the heated seats on my luxury sedan to get warm. #firstworldproblems 1 hour ago via twitterfeed · powered by @socialditto

@Fake_Dispatch
Fake DispatchBREAKING: Job interviews of the future: “Well, your resume speaks well of your abilities. Now let’s check out your Facebook Timeline.” 5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@paulscheer
Paul ScheerI like going to 99 Cent stores because it’s like getting a sneak peek of the world after an Apocalypse 1 hour ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto

@JonHeymanCBS
Jon Heymanbarry bonds was sentenced to spend 30 days in his beverly hills mansion. i hope the feds are pleased with their efforts 33 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

@ReillyRick
Rick ReillyDo u realize w/out this hilariously fun Tebow story sports would be left w/ nothing but alleged pedophiles and coke dealers? 53 minutes ago via Twitter for BlackBerry® · powered by @socialditto

@LouBrutus
Lou BrutusDEAR BARRY BONDS: You should totally open a chain “Barry Bonds Bail Bonds & Baseball Bulking Boutiques.” You’re welcome. 16 minutes ago via Twitter for iPad · powered by @socialditto