Axl Rose, Santorum Headlines, and Wikipedia

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Axl Rose, Santorum Headlines, and Wikipedia
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Enjoy!

    Every time Snooki smooshes, an angel gets gonorrhea. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Yes, your “Santorum surges from behind” headlines were clever, but seriously, we’re trying to eat over here. 1 day ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto

    Possibly the best way to test a potentially bi-curious straight guy is to say, “I’d love to blow someone while they watch the Super Bowl.” 1 day ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Roethlisberger vs Tebow: When Tebow gropes a girl against her will its called The Immaculate Conception & millions celebrate it. Edge Tebow. 24 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    Money cant buy happiness.. but somehow, its more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle. 26 minutes ago via Buffer · powered by @socialditto

    Dave says you can’t put a price on a good memory. I can, it’s about $5 a GB. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    The clothes I wear on laundry day make me look like the guy who steals the hero’s food while he’s asleep in every post-apocalypse movie. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    I thought I saw a monkey, but it wasn’t a monkey. It was a cat. Now I’m sad AND stupid. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    I wouldn’t trust Rick Santorum to run the collating department at Kinko’s. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    There’s no wikipedia article on what I am studying. #FirstWorldProblems 1 hour ago via iTweet for Android · powered by @socialditto

    Thought McCain might endorse Gingrich as they clearly both purchased their wives at the same factory. 2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

    “You know where you are? You’re in The Hyatt Terrace Bistro, baby! You’re gonna diiiiiiiiiine!” — Axl Rose, maitre d’ 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

    Penn St. hires Bill O’Brien because they thought someone with a strong Catholic name would help distance them from pedophiliac scandals. 3 hours ago via Twitter for Mac · powered by @socialditto

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