Anthony Bourdain has been on a tour for months, stopping city after city to serve up his irreverent comic stylings as main course, with the food on the side.
Bourdain’s “Close to the Bone” tour website calls him “a professional gadfly, bête noir, advocate, social critic, and pork enthusiast, recognized for his caustic sense of humor worldwide. He is as unsparing of those things he hates, as he is evangelical about his passions.”
Anthony Bourdain’s “unsparing” and “caustic” ways led to his commenting on some of his Food Network compatriots at a recent tour stop.
One victim of Bourdain’s wit was Adam Richman, host of Man vs. Food. On the show, Richman consumed unholy proportions of food.
“Why did we watch that show? Admit it. You wanted him to die,” Bourdain said, noting that the show was popular in countries like Yemen, Iran, Libya, and Afghanistan. “The show confirms their worst suspicions—that Americans are fat, lazy, slothful, [and] wasteful.”
“I know what [people in those countries watching Richman are] thinking, ‘America is a terrible place. I want to join ISIS.’”
Nor was Alton Brown spared.[My daughter’s] hero is Alton Brown . . . Most of the time when there’s a chef on TV, she’ll ask me, “Daddy, do you know them?” I’ll say, “Yes, I do know them.” So she asked, “Daddy, do you know Alton Brown?” At this point, I’ve had enough. I’m like, “Yes, let me tell you about the time Daddy took Alton Brown to the Clermont Lounge.”
Anthony Bourdain has never been punched in the face. That's on all of us.
— Aunt Eric (@ericdadourian) July 13, 2015
Guy Fieri was given special treatment, especially in light of Bourdain being a parent.
“The minute that you become a father, certain truths become immediately obvious to you. The first second you see your daughter’s head corkscrew out of the womb and open her eyes, they are pretty much saying “Lose the Ramones shirt.” . . . So I’ve made some adjustments in my life. So I sort of feel in a heartfelt way for Guy [Fieri]. I wonder about him. He’s 52 years-old and still rolling around in the flame outfit . . . What does he do? How does Guy Fieri de-douche?
Every time Anthony Bourdain says mean things about Guy Fieri an angel stops eating wings and tries something that God's been fermenting.
— Bearnrd (@BernardFeinsod) July 15, 2015
Just about the only Food Network star that Anthony Bourdain reserves some love for is Ina Garten, but even then he has reservations.
“I love Ina Garten. She’s one of the few people on Food Network who can actually cook. When Ina Garden roasts a chicken, she roasts it correct. When Ina Garten makes mashed potatoes, those are some solid mashed potatoes. In many ways I want Ina’s life. I don’t want to live in her house. I don’t want to spend a weekend there. It gets weird in Ina Land.”