Last year, Amazon launched their Mayday button – a 24/7/365 customer support hotline that allows Fire tablet users to contact a ‘tech advisor’ and speak to them, live. You know, like a real person. It’s a pretty novel idea, and one that customers really seem to enjoy.

In fact, three-quarters of customer service calls from Fire HDX owners come through the Mayday button.

That last little tidbit was announced in a press release this morning, in which Amazon also shared some ‘unusual Mayday anecdotes’ – otherwise known as ideas for great ways to screw with Mayday responders.

What better way to settle a score than to use the Mayday button? A group of friends asked how to make a perfect peanut butter and jelly sandwich to prove whose approach was best.

Uh, hello Mayday. could you solve this bet for us? I’m sure that’ll go well when the wager moves to something more serious than peanut butter and jelly.

A Tech Advisor sang happy birthday to someone as they were receiving a Fire HDX from their boyfriend.

Sing for you? Jesus Christ.

Customers have asked Tech Advisors to draw everything from happy faces to rainbows, unicorns, fire-breathing dragons, and aliens.

Hey, can you draw two bushes side-by-side, with a long, ovular pool next to them? (Tee-hee-hee)

After being stuck on a specific Angry Birds level for a week, a Tech Advisor helped a customer beat the level

Beat it yourself, asshole. It’s Angry Birds.

And finally, the creepers…

Mayday Tech Advisors also get their fair share of date requests and marriage proposals, but beyond that, they’ve been called everything from helpful, patient, sweet, wonderful, and courteous to beautiful, polite, and the “BEST EVER.”

Cringe.

A few months ago, Jeff Bezos said that Mayday ‘tech advisors’ had received requests for bedtime stories, assistance in ordering pizza, and demands to speak with Amy, the cute redhead that starred in Mayday’s advertisements.