Alicia Silverstone, Viagra, and Cable News

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
Alicia Silverstone, Viagra, and Cable News
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Enjoy!

    Actress Alicia Silverstone said she feeds her baby by spitting in his mouth. I usually pay extra for that!(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    SPOILER ALERT: Saw The Hunger Games last night. I loved it when they sank the boat at the end.(image) 1 hour ago via Mobile Web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    BREAKING: Panicked Geraldo Rivera Shoots Slightly Tan Mark Zuckerberg(image) 3 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    UPDATE: Turns out, Geraldo Rivera was bullied by a hoodie in junior high school.(image) 1 hour ago via SocialOomph ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    “If the poor seeketh health care, they shouldeth get jobs. I don’t want to payeth for it.” – The Bible(image) 1 hour ago via txt ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Good idea to keep yelling your opinion to SCOTUS about Obamacare. Justices comb through Twitter and blog comments at night for ideas.(image) 16 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Today I filed my patent request for, “Like YouTube, but faster.”(image) 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    You’d think babies would be more embarrassed they can’t even hold their own bottle. Pathetic.(image) 4 hours ago via WhoSay ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    To a blind person, a waft of cigar smoke must be like having a stranger jam their thumb up your butthole at Disneyworld.(image) 4 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Alicia Silverstone feeds her baby by spitting in his mouth. You don’t want to know how she cleans him.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    On this day 14 years ago, Viagra was introduced. Today, men of all ages can stand up for what they believe in, again and again and again.(image) 6 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Being my sidekick is what most health insurance companies would consider a “pre-existing condition.”(image) 8 minutes ago via Batcomputer ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    This may be the drugs talking, but I’m glad time doesn’t smell like anything.(image) 5 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    I don’t call it whiskey; I call it “anti-Viagra.”(image) 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Watching cable news because you want to be informed is like going to Olive Garden because you want to live in Italy.(image) 6 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

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