Peter Lanza, the father of Adam Lanza, the 20 year old who shot 20 children at Sandy Hook Elementary School and six staff members, had his first interview since the tragedy, as he’s been mostly silent and tried to avoid the press up until now.

And although he didn’t have a close relationship with his son, and didn’t see him for two years before the incident, Peter doesn’t feel that he could have done anything different when it comes to preventing what happened.

“Any variation on what I did and how my relationship had to be good, because no outcome could be worse,” he said. “You can’t get any more evil…..How much do I beat up on myself about the fact that he’s my son? A lot.”

Before going to Sandy Hook to commit the murders, Adam Lanza first turned the gun on his mother and shot her four times, and Peter said he has absolutely no doubt in his mind that if he were in the house, Adam would have shot him too. Peter also said Adam shooting his mother four times was no coincidence at all.

“I don’t question that for a minute,” he said. “The reason he shot Nancy four times was one for each of us: one for Nancy, one for him, one his [his brother] Ryan; one for me.”

Currently, Peter resides in Fairfield, Connecticut, which is about a half an hour drive from Newton, and since the tragedy, he thought of changing his last name many times but decided against it, because he didn’t want to completely erase what happened or act like he doesn’t feel some sort of responsibility.

In addition, Peter said his ex-wife never talked about being afraid of Adam, and he’s not sure that she really was, “She never confided about being afraid of him,” he said. “She slept with her bedroom door unlocked and kept guns in the house, which she wouldn’t have done if she were frightened.”

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