Zooey Deschanel, Tatooine Sex Slang, and Halloween Candy
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today, we look at tweets from two of the day’s persistent hashtags, #tatooinesexslang and #6wordstories. We also see the adverse effect of eating that leftover Halloween candy and look at some Philosophical Football.
I broke the light in my refrigerator so it wouldn’t blind me when I nightfeed.
Crumbling Doritos on a salad is something normal people do, right?
#6wordstories: This was more entertaining than Twilight.
I’ve eaten so much leftover Halloween chocolate in the past few days that I’ve confused my body into having PMS.
We don’t know that eggnog isn’t Santa Claus jizz.
The only thing worse than getting AIDS is regifting it.
#PhilosophicalFootball If Tim Tebow throws a pass in the forest, and nobody is around to see it, is it still ugly?
Why is anyone surprised by these Herman Cain harassment allegations? The bucka-bucka wow-wow always starts when the pizza guy arrives.
#6wordstories: Named my pipe “Lucky.” It broke.
Guess who’s got a baby bump??? My grandson who I accidentally dropped on his head!!!
Zooey Deschanel & husband Ben Gibbard split. Maybe he couldn’t take her singing in those annoying cotton commercials