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Wizards Are No Longer Welcome On eBay

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Wizards Are No Longer Welcome On eBay
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You can buy just about anything on eBay. If you want it, somebody will surely have it. There are certain things, however, that you can’t sell. The auction site has put a stop to things like organ sales after people were found to be selling livers and kidneys on the site. The site is now cracking down on a new category of item – the intangibles.

So what is an intangible in eBay’s eyes? Anything to do with magic really. Here’s the full list straight from eBay’s category updates page:

The following items are also being added to the prohibited items list: advice; spells; curses; hexing; conjuring; magic; prayers; blessing services; magic potions; healing sessions; work from home businesses & information; wholesale lists, and drop shop lists.

I never thought that people selling magic spells was much of a problem until I went digging. It turns out that there is a thriving collection of magic for sale on eBay. It covers everything from white magic for protection to really specific stuff like “Black Arabian Magic Break Up Spell.” There’s even a hilarious listing for “Powerful Spell of Vampire Transformation.”

Here’s one spell in particular that caught my eye because I couldn’t stop laughing. The listing is for “Ultimate Black Magic Spells from Experience Magus.” I can’t really do the item description justice, so here it is:

Hail and welcome seeker of the Black Flame!

Make no mistake! If you are reading this then, fate has truly brought you to me!

I am no ordinary Practioner of the Black Arts. I have been trained in many forms of Extreme Dark Magic, Divination, Occultism, and Forbidden Ritual. It is because of this training and dedication to my Art that, I am able to create and cast spells for any occasion!

Do not fall prey to the “dazzling” auction pages that require you to purchase extra spells for 3, 5, or 9X strength for more of your hard earned money! The Power of True Black Magic does not require such Nonsense! Your donation goes towards my time, energy, and ingredients to creating your personal casting.

Funny enough, the spell will only cost you $6.66. This Magus would have you know that spells never “manifest themselves immediately.” If you buy the spell, you’re going to have to wait 60 to 90 days for the spell to take effect. He also must let you know, in accordance with the law, that his spells are “entertainment purposes only” as science has not proven his “metaphysical and paranormal services.”

It’s pretty obvious why eBay would ban the sale of such items. Despite how much you wish it was so, magic isn’t real. The kind of magic on sale here is doubly not real because there’s no guarantee that it will work and they don’t refund purchases for spells that don’t work. It’s a massive liability for eBay since they’re the one that foot the bill on refunds.

It should be noted that these listings will be taken down on August 30. You still have a few more days to buy some spells to help with everything from your love life to cursing your greatest enemies. After that, I guess we’ll just have to go back to living life without magic. What a shame.

[h/t: Wired UK]

Wizards Are No Longer Welcome On eBay
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