Total Recall, Michael Phelps, and Siri
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Olympics Alert: Michael Phelps drowns. NBC not to show it until next Wednesday.
A massive sinkhole forms in Brooklyn and I thought the Nets season didn’t start until November
This scratch-and-sniff edition of “50 Shades of Grey” was a poor choice.
So psyched to see the new “Total Recall.” The original was way too quotable and iconic.
Let me just be clear: I only eat at Chick Fil A because I’m strongly anti-chicken. I think they all deserve to die.
Mitt Romney seems like the kind of guy who hates Journey.
I’ll never invest my money in Facebook, mostly because it’s the place where people I went to high school with own pretend farms.
Today’s Equation: Bite(Taco) + Gravity = Shirt – Clean
I wonder if they planned the Chik-Fil-A gay marriage kiss-in on Tom Brady’s birthday on purpose?
If you think Carrot Top is frightening, be thankful you’ve never seen Carrot Bottom.
Whenever I see a crazy person on the street talking to himself, I try to help by telling him about Twitter.
Three quarters of my interactions with Siri end with me calling her a bitch.