The Secret Service, Kim Kardashian, and Egg Salad Sandwiches
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Tupac. Imma let you finish. But Obi Wan Kenobi was one of the best holograms of all time -kanye
At least Ted Nugent didn’t threaten to make any new music.
I don’t follow football at all. Why are the Steelers dressing like the little bumblebee girl from the Blind Melon video?
Kim Kardashian wants to run for mayor of Glendale, CA. Meanwhile Khloe Kardashian plans to run to replace Mayor McCheese.
Part of me wants the Earth to be invaded by a race of dog-aliens just to see them strap Mitt Romney to a car.
The moral of the Secret Service debacle? Never, ever argue with a woman over $47.
Tax day. Or as Wesley Snipes calls it: Tuesday.
Ashton Kutcher is dating Mila Kunis. Not to be outdone Demi Moore is contacting Patrick Swayze via Whoopi Goldberg
I’ve had egg salad sandwiches more exciting than Debra Messing posing nude.
Comic sans is the Kim Kardashian of fonts.
@KimKardashian: Just now seeing this Tupac hologram at Coachella!!! Wish I was there to see it in person!You can’t blow a hologram RT
Pres Obama said that during his administration they’ve done more drilling than the last 8 years. Is that by oil crews or the secret service?
Watching these people in this commercial, rock climb, scuba dive & live life to the fullest, makes me wish I had genital herpes.