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The Scream, T-Ball, and Tip Jars

Today's Funniest Tweets

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The Scream, T-Ball, and Tip Jars
[ Life]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

BREAKING: The Scream responds angrily to press question about its relationship with the Mona Lisa. “We’re just friends, nothing more.”(image) 5 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Tip Jars should really be called Put-Money-in-This-While-I’m-Watching-So-You-Can-Feel-Good-About-Yourself Jars(image) 53 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

To save his reputation, John Edwards must prove he didn’t violate campaign finance laws while cheating on his dying wife.(image) 8 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Today is the National Day of Prayer. I wonder what God’s ‘Fail Whale’ looks like.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

America! Today is the National Day of Prayer! All day, right here on this account, I will be answering prayers! Usually with “no”!(image) 7 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I’m stuck in the longest T-ball trophy drought of my life.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Discipline Daddy #ArrestedDevDerbyNames(image) 20 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Wherever there is injustice in the world, Americans will rise up against it by changing their profile pictures.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Amazing hats are pretty much the only reason I want to go to the Kentucky Derby. Oh, and the drinking.(image) 21 hours ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I think The Scream was a good investment. It’ll look great in my guest house bathroom.(image) 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Edvard Munch’sThe Scream sold for $120 million. Immense! You could remake half of “John Carter” for that!(image) 18 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

the new york times has a great article about how print media will outlast the internet behind their paywall.(image) 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I truly thought I met my friends baby because I was following the mother on instagram.(image) 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

The Scream, T-Ball, and Tip Jars
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