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The Octomom, Transit of Venus, and Father’s Day

Today's Funniest Tweets

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The Octomom, Transit of Venus, and Father’s Day
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Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Congratulations to Hugh Hefner on Crystal Harris running out of money
2 days ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
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My favorite part about an outdoor dubstep music festival is when I’m not there and it rains all weekend.
36 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
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Facebook stock continues to drop despite a large number of status updates declaring “fab brunches” having occured over the weekend.
4 hours ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto
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I’m sorry Nintendo, but your press conference was in another castle. #E3
1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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Octomom’s stripper name is Regret.
3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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Let’s just hope Batman never decides to try bath salts.
2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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One of the rejected Sarah Jessica Parker ads for Obama featured her saying, “When it comes to Romney I vote, ‘neigh’.”
5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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The Transit of Venus is today, but I already have plans. I’ll just catch the next one in 2117.
48 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
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Oh my God, Becky, look at her butt. It is so big. Also check out her tits. Becky, I think I’m a lesbian.
1 minute ago via Twitter for iPad · powered by @socialditto
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Dance like no one is watching or just stop dancing in public you weirdo.
16 minutes ago via WhoSay · powered by @socialditto
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Octomom’s plan to get child services to come and get rid of her kids for her is really coming together, you guys.
3 hours ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto
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Not into Father’s Day. I don’t believe in a holiday that glorifies torn condoms.
1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
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BIG DEAL GWYNETH PALTROW! DRUNK HULK HAVE NU**ELLA IN PARIS FOR REAL TOO! ON CREPE! WITH BANANA!
2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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The Octomom, Transit of Venus, and Father’s Day
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