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The Lorax, Shamrock Shakes, and Snooki’s Pregnant

Today's Funniest Tweets

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The Lorax, Shamrock Shakes, and Snooki’s Pregnant
[ Life]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Snooki is pregnant omg, I bet she gives birth to a vodka bottle with hair extensions.(image) 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Dr. Seuss could’ve been the greatest rapper alive.(image) 16 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I hope Snooki doesn’t have problems delivering her baby. She’d hate to hear the doctor say “we have a little Situation here”.(image) 5 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

“I am the Lorax and I speak for the trees. Unless I get paid, then I shill SUV’s.”(image) 1 day ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Snooki has confirmed she is “with child.” Your move, pro-lifers.(image) 4 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

#ShamrockShake Finally! The entire nation can get Cancer and Diabetes in a single cup!(image) 6 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Really hoping that @Snooki has triplets… I really wanna get started on this chocolate factory.(image) 8 hours ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Oh fuck…#ShamrockShake is back. Don’t let your memory fool you into thinking you liked it America. You hated it.(image) 4 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

The Trix rabbit should just get himself some Honey Bunches of Oats, it’s a far superior cereal anyway.(image) 21 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Google’s new anti-privacy measures are so intrusive, it just informed me that I’m feeling lucky.(image) 43 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Hard to believe that Justin Bieber was born in Ontario 18 years ago today and nobody has sent a killer robot back in time to stop it.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Teach kids about irony by visiting a landfill exploding with promotional wrappers, circulars & bags decorated with “The Lorax.”(image) 1 hour ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I made you in My image. The thing is, I’m an asshole.(image) 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Never set a goal that takes longer than you can stay sober.(image) 3 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Wow. This is the longest Oscars ever.(image) 3 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

The Lorax, Shamrock Shakes, and Snooki’s Pregnant
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