The Expendables, Ctrl-Z, and the Debates
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
These debates are about as significant to the election as the Iowa Caucuses or an episode of Hoarders.
Haha, this poor piece of shit has no TV on his plane. RT @realDonaldTrump Can’t wait for debate–delayed my trip to Europe so I can watch.
Seriously, just give David Blaine the Klondike Bar already.
It’s pretty fucked up that Honey Boo Boo’s mom is a 33-year old grandma, but it’s even more fucked up that Honey Boo Boo is an aunt.
When I hear “Long story short…” I get sad because that means I have to stop thinking about Batman
“Joe Biden” is trending! Or as Obama likes to call it, “Uh oh time.”
When Adele decides to crowd surf is the day we see who her real fans are
My knees are so old and dreadful they would get third billing in an Expendables movie.
I propose “Double Dare” style Debates where if the candidate repeatedly refuses to answer a question he must take the Physical Challenge
If Mitt Romney is nervous about the debate, he should just try picturing the audience in their magic underwear.
For my next stunt, I am going to pretend to care about David Blaine’s next stunt.
I would like to open a hip abortion clinic called Ctrl-Z