The Best Drunken SEO Pitch You’ll Hear Today

    November 28, 2012
    Chris Crum
    Comments are off for this post.

McCollum & Griggs LLC, a Kansas City law firm has put out a humorous clip featuring a voicemail they claim comes from West Coast SEO company. The guy, who the firm says is drunk (which does appear to be quite possible, based on the audio) claims to be from Microsoft.

“We’re pretty sure this guy is not from Microsoft,” Phil Singleton, CEO of Kanasas City Web Design, which handles the firm’s site, tells WebProNews.

“An SEO & Internet marketing company on the West Coast tried to sell a domain name related to personal injury law to Kansas City attorneys, McCollum & Griggs, LLC,” David McCollum from the firm explains in the video description. “After a couple days of civil discussions with the domain seller, the lawyers politely passed on the opportunity after discussing with their Kansas City SEO firm. The next day, the supervisor (or owner) called back and left a drunken rant on the attorneys’ voicemail.”

  • http://2011Tax.org Steve

    I’m sold. Get your boys out and get me to #1.

  • http://www.attorneysync.com Sam Maher

    I want this to be fake just so I can hear from the genius who came up with this genius link bait idea.

  • http://www.kansas-city-website-design.com/ Phil Singleton

    Loved the “I Am From M-I-C-R-O-S-O-F-T”…How does a guy from Microsoft sell skills on Google rankings? Thank you Chris for posting / sharing.

  • http://pcrelease.com Christian Polleys

    I really wonder which domain he was talking about and if it was truly better than $10k in SEO services. Could have been but we’ll never know!

  • http://imediass.in dlokeshseo

    This is really crazy…

  • http://seoenquirer.com SEOEnquirer

    That kind of sounds like Matt Cutts when he is having a passive agressive dig at Facebook.

  • http://www.isolcertificationtraining.com/ Mohsen Ansari

    I read about the post was too good, it’s informative for me.

  • http://workingseo.com Suthnautr

    As frightening as that was it also reveals how low some very unscrupulous and desperate fringe elements of the SEO industry are willing to sink.

    Besides displaying complete disregard for the truth the drunken buffoon could be harming the overall public perception of SEO as a serious, hard headed profession.

  • Kyle

    Best drunken SEO pitch you’ll hear? Challenge accepted!

  • http://www.brickmarketing.com/ Nick Stamoulis

    Who knew that the secret to SEO and ranking #1 forever was simply getting the right domain name?! Cats out of the bag guys, time to pack up and head home.

    But in all seriousness, guys like this give the rest of the industry a really bad reputation and make it that much harder on us to gain the trust of clients and prospects.

  • http://mastermindseo.com SEO services

    Nicely pitched

  • http://www.canuckseo.com Jim Rudnick

    EDM Rules! boy, is that ever breaking news….



  • http://www.ajpcsolutions.com AJPC Solutions

    If the world hadn’t heard of McCollum & Griggs before, they sure will have after this clever marketing. We’ve all had calls like this from pushy salesmen, angry at not getting a sale, but how to turn a complete nothing to your advantage! Or, with my cynical head on, what a great creative advert! Now, let me just go & record a similar message for MY company 😉

  • http://www.eBizROI.com/ Rick Noel

    Hilarious. Guy’s got guts given crap to a law firm! Definitely would not consider him or his firm an SEO/agency, but rather a serious snake oil salesman. Sounds like the Law Firm dodged a bullet. Maybe Microsoft will pursue litigation against the caller and his firm. But by all means, “just leave his boys alone!”

  • http://protectyourfuture.com Philip

    This was wonderful. I have to agree with another comment here and say I really hope this is fake because it is a genius piece of linkbait. I have to imagine that it is sadly real though. I do not, however, feel as though this gives our industry a bad name by any means. There is no way that someone could assume that this is how our industry operates

    Anyway, I love this post and I imagine the links it will pull are worth much more than whatever domain name that this guy was trying to sell

  • http://www.twitter.com/mprice14 Michael Price

    Very funny and would have loved to have got that message. Not the best pitch ive ever heard but definitely the best drunken pitch!

  • Laura

    Too funny! Awaiting Kyle’s response to the challenge with great anticipation.

  • http://www.tristateintermodalinc.com Dean

    Must be the day for SEO jokes. I just heard this one:
    An SEO expert walks into a bar
    …. bars, beer garden, hangout, lounge, night club, mini bar, bar stool, tavern, pub, beer, wine, whiskey…

  • http://www.webbythoughts.com Mark @Webbythoughts

    I got mixed emotions as I listen. I have to laugh with that salesman and the how the law firm assert his point. I also cringe with how these snake oil SEO firms are robbing people. ugh!

  • http://online-backup.stocklii.com Stocklii Recovery

    Thanks that will serve as a lesson for others like me from being trapped !

  • http://www.FunnelScience.com Alex Fender

    95% of the SEO industry is a SCAM

    • http://Mabuzi.com Kevin

      The wild west. They way my site got black hatted recently I would say about 40% of the industry.

  • http://www.smithseo.com/ Gerrid Smith

    Hilarious! SEO jokes are all over!

  • http://www.kansas-city-website-design.com/ Phil

    To everyone who though this was great fake link bait, there is a blog post here by a local Kansas City news blog that discloses the names, company and url for sale. McCollum & Griggs have been getting a lot of calls and emails from other bloggers (mostly legal blogs and newsites) to release the names and other details:


    And a second voicemail (the initial voicemail, prior to the funny rant)…not as funny, but still a little over the top in terms of seo promises:


  • http://www.freeaffiliatesoftwaredownloads.com James Lee Woo

    I have already been in the us for five-years now. I’ve a desire for Online marketing as well as computer software. Your site is worth it to read. The knowledge this is beneficial. We’ve bookmarked the idea and are back and also want to appreciate all the good information.

  • http://www.sarvweb.com sarvweb

    seo is best way promote business