The Artist, Danica Patrick, and Miracle Whip

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Today we have fallout from the Oscars dominate Twitter. And people are buzzing about the postponed Daytona 500 as well – some are even offering their own thoughts on the cause. Plus, we’re not sure what the miracle is about a certain sandwich spread.

Enjoy!

@Hadzilla
Jeffrey HadzI feel like Miracle Whip doesn’t understand what the word “miracle” means. 16 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@NOTSportsCenter
NOT SportsCenterSOURCES: Danica Patrick is spending the Rain Delay at a Daytona Amusement Park, riding the bumper cars to practice for the race #Daytona500 2 hours ago via TweetCaster for iOS · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@DeeSeelicious
DeeSeeIt cannot be easy being married to Meryl Streep. It must be impossible to tell when she is faking it. 14 hours ago via Twitter for Android · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@rainnwilson
RainnWilsonThat dog from Frazier was really good in “The Artist.” 3 hours ago via HootSuite · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@JeremyJHardy
Jeremy HardySome people walked out of the Artist when they realised it’s silent. I walked out of the Iron Lady when I realised it isn’t. 4 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@elainasaurus
Elaine Carrollsomehow, somewhere, Nick Nolte just stumbled out of a handicapped stall, then flipped off a homeless guy, not realizing it was a mirror. 4 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@paulscheer
Paul ScheerOctavia Spencer’s win shows just how far we’ve come since Billy Crystal performed in Blackface. #TheOscars 18 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@AngiesRightLeg
Angelina Jolie’s LegCheck me out! Leg!! 2 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@TheFakeESPN
The Fake ESPNDaytona 500 delayed again because NASCAR fears mixing rain with a Danica Patrick debut will wipe out half their drivers within 25 laps. 3 hours ago via Twitter for Mac · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@OfficialKat
Kat DenningsCongratulations to J.Lo and Cam Diaz for igniting no boners just then #Oscars 19 hours ago via Mobile Web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@SamGrittner
Sam GrittnerGrossest Word of the Day: Instagramateur 30 minutes ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@firstworldme
First World ProblemsMy noise cancelling earbuds broke, so now I have to use the ones that came with my iPhone. #firstworldproblems 1 hour ago via twitterfeed · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@robdelaney
rob delaneyIt looks like the last calories Angelina Jolie consumed were when she drank that vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood. 3 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@ApocalypseHow
Rob Kutner“That is SO 5 minutes from now.” -Hipster Merlin 3 hours ago via web · Reply · Retweet · Favorite · powered by @socialditto