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The Artist, Danica Patrick, and Miracle Whip

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression. And what better...
The Artist, Danica Patrick, and Miracle Whip
Written by Josh Wolford
  • Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

    And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

    Today we have fallout from the Oscars dominate Twitter. And people are buzzing about the postponed Daytona 500 as well – some are even offering their own thoughts on the cause. Plus, we’re not sure what the miracle is about a certain sandwich spread.

    Enjoy!

    I feel like Miracle Whip doesn’t understand what the word “miracle” means.(image) 16 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    SOURCES: Danica Patrick is spending the Rain Delay at a Daytona Amusement Park, riding the bumper cars to practice for the race #Daytona500(image) 2 hours ago via TweetCaster for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    It cannot be easy being married to Meryl Streep. It must be impossible to tell when she is faking it.(image) 14 hours ago via Twitter for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    That dog from Frazier was really good in “The Artist.”(image) 3 hours ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Some people walked out of the Artist when they realised it’s silent. I walked out of the Iron Lady when I realised it isn’t.(image) 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    somehow, somewhere, Nick Nolte just stumbled out of a handicapped stall, then flipped off a homeless guy, not realizing it was a mirror.(image) 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Octavia Spencer’s win shows just how far we’ve come since Billy Crystal performed in Blackface. #TheOscars(image) 18 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Check me out! Leg!!(image) 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Daytona 500 delayed again because NASCAR fears mixing rain with a Danica Patrick debut will wipe out half their drivers within 25 laps.(image) 3 hours ago via Twitter for Mac ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Congratulations to J.Lo and Cam Diaz for igniting no boners just then #Oscars(image) 19 hours ago via Mobile Web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    Grossest Word of the Day: Instagramateur(image) 30 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    My noise cancelling earbuds broke, so now I have to use the ones that came with my iPhone. #firstworldproblems(image) 1 hour ago via twitterfeed ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    It looks like the last calories Angelina Jolie consumed were when she drank that vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood.(image) 3 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

    “That is SO 5 minutes from now.” -Hipster Merlin(image) 3 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

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