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Super Tuesday, Pat Robertson, and Pork Donuts

Today's Funniest Tweets

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Super Tuesday, Pat Robertson, and Pork Donuts
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Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Two of the top trending topics are Earthquake and Christina Hendricks. Imagine Her in a earthquake. It would be like a lava lamp. Brilliant.(image) 7 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

“Due to remarks of his we consider unacceptable, we have terminated our relationship with Rush Limbaugh.” — Satan(image) 2 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

As Super Tuesday approaches, remind readers of the cautionary tale of a regular Tuesday being bitten by a radioactive primary.(image) 6 hours ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I don’t think I’ve googled anything faster than when I heard about the Christina Hendricks leaked photos.(image) 6 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

WHEN SHE SAY SLEEP! DRUNK HULK THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING HYPNOTIZE DOG! WORST VETERINARIAN EVER!(image) 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Digitimes reports 5:30AM Bay Area earthquake was actually cargo plane filled with 7-inch iPad 3s landing, causing earth to shift on its axis(image) 5 hours ago via MetroTwit ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

“Pat Robertson Blames Tornadoes On Lack Of Prayer.” Tornadoes blame Robertson for too much wind.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Remember, this Tuesday is “Super Tuesday” when everyone dresses up in superhero costumes. Don’t ask anyone, just trust me.(image) 22 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Dunkin’ Donuts is now selling China a product called “pork donuts.” Or as most Americans call that, “a shopping list.”(image) 36 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Mr Cameron on the phone. Very excited: Obama has invited him to Camp David, which ironically enough is his nickname in the Royal Household.(image) 1 hour ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Pat Robertson says we could’ve stopped the tornadoes with prayer. If it works that way, let’s pray for God to put a stop to Pat Robertson.(image) 3 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Whoever hacked Christina Hendricks’ cellphone is an awful person. Invading someone’s privacy like that is detestable. (clicks link)(image) 6 hours ago via Plume for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Even though Lenny Dykstra spent his baseball career as an outfielder, I have a feeling that he’ll be playing catcher very soon.(image) 1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Adele thinks her mansion is haunted. Luckily, something from the past haunting Adele usually leads to a multi-platinum album and 6 Grammys.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Super Tuesday, Pat Robertson, and Pork Donuts
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