Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the weekend than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Holy shit, after Tim Tebow got tackled, he started bleeding from his palms and feet!
Just got my first invite to LinkedIn! My dick is so hard it could cut diamonds!
Is War Horse a re-boot of Saving Private Ryan with a horse?
I've farted so much today I'm almost proud.
Bettie Page has inspired so many ugly girls to be very very slightly less ugly.
Anyone under the age of 30 who writes an autobiography should be murdered heinously so someone can actually write a decent book about them.
Captain Faggot would be a horrible name for a girl
#SNF Ben Roethlisberger is playing Madden 12....he knows his receivers are better than the defense, so he is just throwing sh*t up.
I rubbed together pictures of John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John and started a Grease fire.
Brett Favre to the Houston Texans? Cool! Maybe he'll text me wiener pics!
I'd rather have my balls sheared off with a mitre saw than see a movie "from the makers of Jerry Maguire"
@RealSkipBayless AGAIN: All ... he ... does ... is ... win ... football ... games.And Vince Young??? RT