Starbucks, the Election, and Some Sex Marriage

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Follow @andylassner

andy lassner
@andylassner

Wow! RT @MittRomney “If we win this thing, I’m marrying like 6 more bitches.”

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6 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

Follow @CollegeHumor

CollegeHumor
@CollegeHumor

Who’s ready to ostracize some friends tomorrow with wildly impassioned and offensive political Facebook status updates?!?!

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39 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Follow @robdelaney

rob delaney
@robdelaney

Even though it means he’s a serial killer, it’s nice when a guy has piercing blue eyes.

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51 minutes ago via Tweetbot for iOS · powered by @socialditto

Follow @TheFakeCNN

The Fake CNN
@TheFakeCNN

Breaking: Starbucks introduces 3 more coffees you’ll feel like a dick ordering.

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1 hour ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto

Follow @Andy_Richter

Andy Richter
@Andy_Richter

I would like to publicly state my support for Some Sex Marriage.

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1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Follow @FirstWorldLife

First World Life
@FirstWorldLife

The game I spent 99 cents on in the app store is now free. #FirstWorldProblems

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3 hours ago via iTweet for Android · powered by @socialditto

Follow @ComedyCentral

Comedy Central
@ComedyCentral

John Cusack might play Rush Limbaugh in a movie. Is it called “Eat Anything”?

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3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Follow @pourmecoffee

pourmecoffee
@pourmecoffee

Election ending will be like closing a porn tab — instantly hate self for getting into it.

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8 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto

Follow @ChrisRRegan

Chris Regan
@ChrisRRegan

While I wait for my iPhone software to update, I think I’ll carve a complete chess set out of some rocks.

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3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Follow @alexblagg

Alex Blagg
@alexblagg

I liked The Walking Dead better when they were just hanging out on the farm, trying to figure out whose turn it was to do chores.

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5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Follow @cornlog

Dick de Balzac
@cornlog

I think this election will ultimately boil down to a choice between Barack Obama & Mitt Romney.

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5 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto

Follow @JennyJohnsonHi5

Jenny Johnson
@JennyJohnsonHi5

I’ve never met a baby named Beverly.

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5 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto

There are 4 Comments. Add Yours.

Like (0) Dislike (0)
Steve
November 5, 2012 at 5:44 pm

I agree, you only get ‘some’ sex during marriage.

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alex lyon
November 6, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Marry whoever the hell you love!!

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relationship
November 8, 2012 at 5:50 pm

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