Smoothies, The Facebook IPO, and Strippers
Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
I don’t want to spook the market, but one of my friends hasn’t logged into Facebook for like 45 minutes.
The most hilarious two minutes in comedy has to be roll call at a Beverly Hills kindergarten.
@BarackObama‘s expensive toiletries and fluffy bathrobes as we can manage.
#Facebook IPO slogan: “You’ve already wasted your time on Facebook. Now waste your money.”
Its really hard to look depressed while you’re drinking a smoothie.
A teenager found part of a finger in an Arby’s sandwich. He said he became suspicious when he tasted something that seemed like real meat.
It’s a shame that Michael Vick beat & drown pitbulls and not Pitbull.
If I get an email from an AOL address I assume it’s from a ghost.
Just found out on Facebook that a really good friend of mine “can’t believe it’s only Thursday.” Please RT.
Do you think Michael Vick will play any Three Dog Night at his wedding?
Pinterest is a great place to look at shit you can’t afford and shit you’ll never do.
These days, most people only know Emily Dickinson’s poetry from reading strippers’ tattoos.
Amber Alert would be a badass name for a stripper.