Serena Williams, the Mayan Calendar, and Rejected Prom Themes

By: Josh Wolford - May 11, 2012

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.


I’m not emotionally prepared for the new onslaught of bad Sacha Baron Cohen impressions that “The Dictator” will bring.(image) 22 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

“Lets go see ‘Dark Shadows'” – No One.(image) 13 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

16 and pregnant #rejectedpromthemes(image) 1 minute ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Serena Williams’ new single proves once and for all that black people can’t rap(image) 3 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Bristol Palin giving anyone parenting advice is like Rebecca Black giving Adele singing advice.(image) 20 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

The Sacco and Vanzetti Trial #rejectedpromthemes(image) 3 minutes ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Why is that chick breastfeeding Justin Bieber on the cover of Time?(image) 2 hours ago via Twitter for Mac ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

What I hate about the Mayan calendar is there are no pictures of muscular Mayans on it(image) 57 minutes ago via Favstar.FM ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Guys, just buy a coal engagement ring. With the pressure of marriage it’ll become a diamond soon enough.(image) 1 minute ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Between driving with a dog on the roof and shaving a gay guy’s head, I think Mitt Romney is the right guy to lead this fraternity.(image) 42 minutes ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

As a result of losing $2 billion, the TV in JP Morgan’s lobby has been switched from CNBC to “Extreme Couponing”.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Instead of a feathered quill, Twitter’s “Compose Tweet” icon should be a toilet in front of a mirror.(image) 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I’m basically shuffling papers and watching the clock until the next Batman movie.(image) 4 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Josh Wolford

About the Author

Josh WolfordJosh Wolford is a writer for WebProNews. He likes beer, Japanese food, and movies that make him feel weird afterward. Mostly beer. Follow him on Twitter: @joshgwolf Instagram: @joshgwolf Google+: Joshua Wolford StumbleUpon: joshgwolf

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