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Semen Shooter Gets 18 Months Behind Bars

    March 22, 2013
    Zach Walton
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If Panic Room taught me anything – it’s that burglaries are scary things. Men with guns trying to ransack my home are scary enough, but it becomes even scarier when said burglar breaks out the colorful squirt guns filled with semen.

A very unlucky man encountered such a scenario in January after a couple of burglars, including 21-year-old Eric Miller, broke into a house looking for one of the people who lived there. Their target wasn’t present, but they decided to make an example of the roommate sleeping on the couch.

The men reportedly held the unlucky roommate at knifepoint as they beat and pistol-whipped him. After the beating, Miller reportedly pulled out a squirt gun filled with semen and sprayed it on his face. After the heinous crime was committed, Miller said “Now you’re like the rest of my (expletives), covered in semen.”

It’s not said what kind of squirt gun was used, but I like to think it was this one:

After all of this, Miller turned himself in to police. He was convicted with first-degree burglary, but not before the judge considered tacking on a sexual motivation charge. It was the prosecutor’s opinion that Miller didn’t get any sexual gratification out of it. Miller will spend 18 months behind bars.

[The Bellingham Herald via Geekosystem]