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Richard Dawson, Microsoft, and Confused Urologists

Today's Funniest Tweets

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Richard Dawson, Microsoft, and Confused Urologists
[ Life]

Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

[Image via reddit]

If sony or nintendo want to top microsoft @ E3 theyre gonna have to bring that dead cat helicopter on stage & control it with voice commands
47 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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This confused urologist has no idea where I’m coming from.
27 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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Internet Explorer coming to XBOX Live. Soon to be followed by fire and the wheel.
2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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Richard Dawson. A real man. Would kiss your wife while looking YOU in the eye. And you’d do NOTHING. Because he is Richard Dawson.
1 day ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
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Twitter is an amazing source of useful information, the way a haystack is an amazing source of needles.
49 minutes ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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The MTV Movie Awards are a great reminder of why kids should never be allowed to vote.
1 day ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
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“Is Tiger Woods Back?” is the trucker hat of sports.
3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
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There are fates far worse than death. For example, having your death reported in an online article with comments enabled.
1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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Have to wait until next year for new Game of Thrones episodes. #firstworldproblems
15 hours ago via HootSuite · powered by @socialditto
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Laughter is the best medicine, but so is watching your enemies slowly become fat through Facebook updates.
9 minutes ago via Favstar.FM · powered by @socialditto
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IS IT JUST DRUNK HULK! OR WAS FINE YOUNG CANNIBALS 20 YEARS AHEAD OF THEIR TIME?
1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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Next time you see your therapist, see how deep into the session you can go by only saying lyrics from Creed songs.
2 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
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Police nabbed the porn actor who dismembered and ate his Chinese lover because they knew he’d be hungry again an hour later.
3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
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Richard Dawson, Microsoft, and Confused Urologists
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