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Randy Moss, Google Play, and English Major Drinks

Today's Funniest Tweets

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Randy Moss, Google Play, and English Major Drinks
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Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.

And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.

Enjoy!

Anybody else notice that because Rush Limbaugh wouldn’t support contraception his sponsors had to pull out?(image) 56 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

“Lime of the Ancient Mariner” #englishmajordrinks(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Randy Moss to work out for Saints. Gregg Williams has $1000 for the first Saints employee to knock him out.(image) 6 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

So today is like the first season finale to the GOP’s Game of Thrones.(image) 3 hours ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I was going to make fun of “Google Play” until I remembered that iTunes is still called iTunes.(image) 1 hour ago via Tweetbot for iOS ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

The Pitcher of Dorian Grey Goose #EnglishMajorDrinks(image) 6 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

I missed the part where we were all transported back to 1987 when we cared what Kirk Cameron thought.(image) 1 hour ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Advertisers are abandoning Rush Limbaugh. Where will Summer’s Eve find a spokesperson now?(image) 14 hours ago via SocialOomph ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Randy Moss is working out for the Saints. That’s a good fit. He’ll appreciate that they pay with straight cash, homie. #Bountygate(image) 3 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Pinterest is a website that updates daily with whatever was on Reddit three days ago. #TheMoreYouKnow(image) 3 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Tequila Mockingbird #EnglishMajorDrinks(image) 3 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Always thought “quite frankly” meant doing things the way a guy named Frank would. Sorta like “that’s so Raven.”(image) 22 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Nothing like seeing a 9-year-old kid beautifully play the demo piano at Costco to make me feel like a complete failure.(image) 48 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

What’s your favorite thing on a string? Probably not tampons. Maybe a yo-yo? #KotexForReal(image) 1 hour ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

As a parent I often wonder if there’s anything I could’ve done differently to prevent the jealousy between my twins Lisa & Hog Face.(image) 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Cyrano de Sazerac #EnglishMajorDrinks(image) 2 minutes ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

Randy Moss, Google Play, and English Major Drinks
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