I’m not exactly sure what prompted 21-year-old Antoine Owens to (allegedly) break into a series of homes with the sole purpose of masturbating to porn, all I know is that my Monday morning thanks him, immensely.

That’s right, in hey-you-really-don’t-have-it-all-that-bad news, a young man in Oregon has been arrested as police suspect him of committing a string of lewd acts involving the strangest cases of breaking and entering that you’ll ever hear about.

According to KVAL in Eugene, Owens’ M.O. involved learning the schedules of his target homeowners – all of which lived within a couple of blocks. Once he figured out their daily routines, Owens would break into their houses and have a bit of alone time. He is suspected of doing this at least four times, the latest of which occurred just a couple of months ago.

A woman reportedly came home to find lube, towels and a cell phone sitting by her computer – which was blaring porn. This time, he was apparently still at the home:

He managed to open the door and stormed inside, threatening to kill the woman as he grabbed the phone and lube before fleeing the home at Van Buren and 22nd in Eugene.

At least he managed to grab the lube, I suppose.

Not every victim caught the man in the act. Some simply came home to find lube and towels near their computers. According to police, Owens was matched to the crime scenes by some DNA that he’d left behind. He’s been charged with four counts of first-degree burglary – although it appears that the only thing he stole was these people’s ability to comfortably use their computers ever again.

Check out the local news report below, if for no other reason than to see what one neighbor thinks may keep our masturbating menace at bay