Obama’s New Dog Is Cute, But Apparently Evil

    August 20, 2013
    Sarah Parrott
    Comments are off for this post.

The Obama family has added a new lovably adorable ball of fur to the White House; her name is Sunny, and she is a female Portuguese Water Dog. She is quite similar to the first Presidential pet, Bo, in color, breed, and maximum preciousness. Portugese Water Dogs have hypo-allergenic coats that come in handy for the Obama family, considering that daughter Malia is allergic to dog fur. The new addition to the presidential family is said to be about a year old, “energetic and affectionate,” and that her name was chosen to reflect her “cheerful” nature. All in all, the dog is super cute and couldn’t possibly be the cause for any kind of debate ever. Except that this is the internet, and that last bit is most certainly untrue.

(Pictured above: Evil incarnate!)

Since the Obama family announced their newest member in a press release on Monday, the internet (and, of course, the odd conservative and cranky activist) have used the ensuing 24 hours to come up with some pretty cringe-worthy, but none the less entertaining conspiracy theories concerning the new pup. Among the more interesting accusations are that “Sunny” isn’t the dog’s name at all. The dog is actually “Sunni.” You know, like the Islamic religious sect. Because Obama is a muslim, remember? Get it? (Yeah. Neither do I.)

Other complaints have come from the dog’s pure-bred status and the fact that she was, more likely than not, not rescued from a pound. Wayne Pacelle, the president of the Humane Society of The Unites States, slyly pointed out that the Obama family had not been entirely clear on where they had acquired Sunny, with others going on to imply that the thousands of shelter dogs around the country might have a bone to pick with Sunny’s pure-bred status. (Pacelle, after making his snide complaints, went on to thank the Obama family for their generous donation to the Humane Society and the president’s effort to pass legislation meant to fight cruelty in puppy mills.) PETA, of course, chimed in on the debate by saying that, “The Obama family… failed to listen to the plea of “adopt, don’t buy” that greeted the arrival of the First Dog, Bo, and acquired Sunny, the Second Dog, from a breeder, which is the animal-protection world equivalent of kicking a hobo.” Classy as always, PETA.

Perhaps the most entertaining issue surrounding the pup is that she is nothing more than a fluffy, adorable distraction, meant to take the heat off of the Obama administration as they push their agenda of evil, evil Health care reform, the ever-dreaded, oh-so-infamous “Obamacare” monster. Because, you know, the Obama administration forces the media to cover such irreverent topics as the new White House pet and celebrity gossip and news of the royal baby rather than the hard-hitting things that actually matter. Yes, that’s completely accurate.

The chaos surrounding the new pup’s arrival is, ultimately, ridiculous, but worth a laugh or two. This article from Salon perhaps best sums up the arguments surrounding Sunny; the dog isn’t to blame for America’s problems. The dog is not to blame for Obama’s mistakes. The dog, in fact, has nothing to do with either of these things. The dog is, simply put, a dog; a cute, new pet, and not much else. Perhaps it might be best to not make mountains out of mole hills in this instance.

  • GaelanClark

    “Snide comment”…..uuhhhh, sure. It is always snide to hold someone accountable for what they say. If the man said he got the dog from a shelter…show us the shelter and shut up. Or, he is a liar.

    Stay “classy” PETA for offending this cYnt writer who cannot withdraw her pecky little fingers from injecting her own snidely personal attacks on the Humane Society and PETA.

    • toastieq

      REALLY Gaelan? Please advise WHERE “the man” said he got the dog from a shelter? Oh you can’t?? Because he DIDN’T? Yeah, thought so.

      And YES, it was incredibly tacky and untrue for PETA to say that getting your kid a dog from a reputable breeder is just like “kicking a homeless person”. That is stupid and snide and beneath them. It takes away from the point they are trying to make and makes them look crazier than many already believe them to be.

      Maybe it is not HE that should “shut up” and is a “liar”.

      • C

        I don’t agree with many things PETA does, but they were 100 percent correct in this analogy. Dog breeders are some of the most evil people in the world. All the Obama fan girls and boys need to stop coming up with excuses for this president.

    • Kelsey

      Ah, yes, you disagree with what she said so you call her a “cYnt”. God job fellow, you’ve sure proven that you have done your research on this subject and know what this article is about and how she is wrong by inciting a polite discussion.

      Oh, wait. All you did was call someone an awful word, so it’s safe to assume you’re another unintelligent asshole who spends his sad life insulting people on the internet.

      tl;dr no one cares about your opinion, if you don’t have a comment that will be beneficial to this debate, shove off.

  • ab55

    Sunni is very cute, will give Bo someone to play with and keep their energy level down.

    But yes disappointed Obama’s did not find a shelter dog. In the U.S. approx. 10,000 dogs are put down a year, even young healthy dogs because of over crowding.

    Adopt a shelter dog. They just want someone to love and take care of them. If I could afford it I would go crazy in a shelter and take them home. Old & Young. I feel sorry for the older ones people bring them home for a few years and then get rid of them. They do not take the separation very well broken hearted, and look so sad in their cages.

    • Vduh1

      I think people complaining about Obama not getting Sunny from a shelter are forgetting about Malia’s allergy. It would be difficult, if not impossible, to find a non-purebred, OR a purebred dog of a specific type (i.e. hypoallergenic fur) at a shelter.

      • C

        25 percent of dogs in shelters are purebreds. Many (pure and mixed) are hypoallergenic. Not to mention, there are Portuguese Water dog rescues and tons of other rescues dedicated to specific breeds of dogs. There is no excuse why the Obamas couldn’t adopt. They set a bad example to all Americans. Meanwhile, over 50,000 dogs are roaming the streets of Detroit. Not to mention, Manning gets 35 years in jail. What happened to civil liberties in this country? Of course, the brainless Obama fanatics will find some excuse for him. If Bush would have done the same, he would have been tortured by the media. Obama is dropping drones on American citizens and nobody says 1 word.

        • maddiemom

          And most breeds have their own rescue groups.

      • Jen

        You are 100% wrong. How about a Portuguese Water Dog rescue???

    • BillDe

      Your stats are way, way, way off.

      About 2.7 million healthy, adoptable cats and dogs—about one every 11 seconds—are put down in U.S. shelters each year.

      • BillDe

        way off.

  • Jen

    You are making fun of all the other articles, but this one is by far the most ridiculous I have read yet. Thanks for voting in Obama.

  • BillDe

    What he did to millions and millions and millions of other dogs by setting this example is pure evil.